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The Hug!

I found out yesterday that one of the kindest women I have ever known passed away recently. In fact, although she died in June but it wasn’t announced until last night. Honestly, I was crushed and couldn’t help but recall how our friendship came to be.

It was back in 1982. I had just been recruited to move to Indianapolis from northwest suburban Chicago to accept a position as Executive Director of a new business that was promoting entrepreneurship in the Midwest and throughout the country. It had been a tough year, leaving Chicago and all – and I was just starting to establish a network in Indianapolis. I lived in Room 1231 of a near north side hotel while Janet and the kids were still at our home in Inverness, IL. I worked days and tried to fill the nights and weekends familiarizing myself with the community we were about to call home.

Anyway, Mr. Jim Kittleman, the owner of the Chicago search firm who had recruited me for the position, wanted to introduce me to another person he found to lead a new non-profit in Indy – Gleaner’s Food Bank. He introduced to me Pam Altmeyer, a gregarious lady who I liked at first sight. As we entered he office, she bounded across the room as I stuck out my arm to shake hands. She would have none of that – she gave me the biggest bear hug I had ever experienced – and this was the first time I had ever laid eyes on the woman. I was totally unprepared for it and literally froze in place – my hands firmly at my sides. I didn’t even pretend to hug her back. She laughed, as did Mr. Kittleman, and said, “So you don’t like hugs, do you?”

I was surprised at her direct and forward approach. After all, I had just met Pam. But she was right… I wasn’t a touchy, feely guy – especially back then. She let me know that if we were to be friends, that would have to change. At first, I had to consider if I even wanted to change. But there was something about her – a real force of nature with deep passion for the malnourished, underfed, hungry and starving people of the community. You couldn’t help but like her! I came to realize that everyone she encountered was blessed.

Throughout the years, we stayed in touch. We even supplied Gleaner’s with some of their staffing needs in the early years. I remember the large fundraisers, the tours through the growing facility, the morning when it was discovered that thieves had stolen all the copper pipes for the freezers and food was spoiling. I remember the public plea for help – and boy, help came! Although Pam and I were absolutely on different ends of the political spectrum, that never got in the way of our growing friendship. I was even asked to consider a seat on the Gleaner’s Board of Directors. Since I was still in the midst of growing our own business, I declined that offer but stayed in touch with Pam.

Finally, one day I was down at Gleaner’s having lunch with Pam when she could tell that I was a little bit preoccupied with something.  She shot me a glance – one that I was all too familiar with… She was getting ready to let loose with one of those famous HUGS. I succumbed… I opened my arms, welcoming her hug. She was in heaven – having finally conquered this guy who wasn’t a “hugger” years before when we first met. You know what? It was one of the most sincere, authentic hugs I have ever experienced. The rest, as they say, is history.

For the past 42 years, Pam and I have periodically stayed in touch. She eventually left Gleaner’s but we maintained our friendship through social media. We have been very supportive of each other’s work and urged one another to new heights in our corporate and spiritual lives. These were the bonds that connected us.

I was saddened to hear of her passing. The world lost a passionate, gregarious, loving, kind ambassador whose care for the underserved knew no bounds. And the light of Christ shined brightly through her. Her selfless acts of compassion served tens of thousands of people around our community – her impact even felt around the world.

Our verse for tonight is from the Gospel of Matthew. Jesus is telling a story to His disciples. He tells them, in Matthew 25:35-40, “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

My encouragement this evening is that every once in a while, God puts someone in our lives who truly changes us for the better. Pam was definitely one of those people for me. My prayer is that we all, as followers of Christ, will continue to be the hands and feet of Jesus here on earth because each of us, with divine assistance, can make a huge difference in the lives of others, just as Pam did! Have a great day in the Lord, grace and peace…

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