Iatrophobia is a fear of medical professionals, test results, exams and just about all things medical… all things that I struggle with. This seems odd because I work with many healthcare professionals and in the past have been involved with biomedical device teams internationally as well as for some of the most well known companies in the world. I have also been very involved with hospital systems and have even specialized in integrating medical practices into hospitals when the doctor owners are ready to be acquired or to retire. You would think with all this experience, it would be no big deal to be a patient, but it is…
I am a compliant patient and I do follow doctors’ orders, but I wish that I didn’t suffer from the anxiety that goes along with trying to be a good patient. I know where my initial fear came from. When my brother, Doug, and I were rather young, probably a little under ten years old, Mom took us to the doctor for our annual physicals. The three of us were in the room and Doug was being examined. The doctor announced that Doug needed some sort of shot and at that time of his life, Doug wasn’t having any of that!
Well, back in the day, the syringes were glass, the plungers had those two round finger holes and the whole thing was scary beyond belief. Doug protested but the doctor was going to give him that shot, regardless of what it took! Doug was hysterical, crying, and so was I, watching my brother go through such an event. Anyway, the doctor literally got on top of him, pinned him to the ground as Doug was kicking and screaming; and administered the shot. I was horrified. First of all, that the doctor would do that and, as I look back on it, that our mother allowed it to happen. Of course, that was more than 60 years ago and things were different back then but, in my mind, it is as clear today as it was back then. Clearly, I was the one who was traumatized by the whole event. I even remember thinking that I wished there was a way that I could have taken the shot for my brother…
In an odd twist of fate, Doug is a practicing physician today. He has had a thriving practice with multiple offices for years and is well known for his care and bedside manner. Maybe, somewhere in the recesses of his mind, this remembrance so many years ago may have shaped his thoughts on patient care and empathy. But I still suffer from that childhood memory.
Twice a year, I have blood work and exams to keep up to date with some of my health issues. I am a non-insulin diabetic (diabetes runs in our family) and earlier this year I voluntarily asked for a script to wear one of those glucose monitoring devices. It has been a Godsend. I have been able to move my A1C down drastically within the last year and have learned more about how my body processes sugar. I like to think I am better with blood tests (it’s not the needles, it’s the results) than I used to be but I think I am only fooling myself. I try to live a healthy lifestyle but I fall short of optimal exercise, food intake and all the other things that the professionals tell us we should do. Like others who suffer from the same fears, I promise myself that I will do better. And to some degree I have… but I still fall short of the standard I would like to have.
As I get older, I realize that declining health is usually in the cards. So far, I haven’t had that happen. My test results that I received this past Tuesday were pretty good. But clearly, the whole thing has been on my mind which is why I am writing about it tonight! My doctor visit is next week and, thankfully, our healthcare provider not only knows of my anxiety, but she is terrific and I couldn’t ask to be under the care of a better person. In fact, Janet and I have been with the practice for almost 43 years, through a variety of healthcare providers.
Our verse for tonight is from the psalms. It’s a simple verse that I have repeated hundreds of times, yet I still haven’t mastered it. The psalmist tells us, in Psalm 56:3, “When I am afraid, I will trust in you.” That’s it. It’s a simple verse, but not so easy for me to follow. I admit that I am still working on it and one would think that my faith would help me through… yet, I struggle in my human condition.
My encouragement for this evening is that there are things that are close to each of our hearts that can make it difficult to manage our day to day lives. Worry for ourselves, a sick family member, a lost job or career, financial issues or a myriad of other things that can derail us before we even realize it. My prayer is that whatever barriers each of us has that prevent us from truly experiencing God to the fullest will be removed and that we carry on our lives without fear, anxiety or trepidation. Have a great day in the Lord grace and peace…