It has occurred to me recently that the roles of people in our family are changing. When the kids were growing up, we wanted to know where they were and when they were out late, they had to get in touch and “check in” with us to let us know that they were alright.
But lately, with all the illnesses, including Covid, a sprained ankle, a head wound and several trips to the hospital for Janet and me, it has become a part of our daily lives to receive calls from one or more of our children to see how we are doing. At first, I found it a little bit disconcerting. It was kind of like Janet and I were responsible for touching base or “checking in” to let the kids know how we are doing.
The last time Janet and I had to check in with our parents, we were dating and even then, Janet had a curfew of midnight – at the latest. Usually, I had her back home around 11:00 p.m. And my mother had a saying – “If you’re out past midnight, you are repeating yourself!” As I think about it, she was right. Whatever you need to say, you can say before midnight…
Our nuclear family – that’s Janet, our three kids and I, are really very close. We have a group text, all live within 10 minutes of each other, and help each other out whenever we have the chance to do so. I know that it may seem odd to others, but we really are something of an anomaly in today’s world.
We have looked after one another for decades. But, usually, it is the kids needing something and we are here to deliver. The last several years that dynamic has started to change. Janet and I still host Christmas morning, but most birthdays and other celebratory events are now hosted by one of the kids. Even Christmas Eve and Christmas night have fallen victim to some of the new dynamics at work.
I remember when Mom and Dad took over for our maternal grandparents in hosting so many of the family celebrations and holidays. I was sad. Our whole lives, we knew what to depend on when it came to the times and places of our parties. And when our own folks started to age, Janet, her sisters and I took over the hosting duties for many events. It was another changing of the guard and now, here we are… another generation is starting to transition into hosting duties. Only this time, Janet and I represent the oldest generation – the folks who have done this for decades – and our time in the sun is waning.
In some ways, it is refreshing. Janet and I get tired more easily than we used to yet we don’t want to give up having the family gatherings. I can live with those changes, as long as they happen somewhat slowly and I have time to get used to the new paradigm.
If that’s where it ended, I would be fine. But with the summer Janet and I have had, it is very clear that the kids realize the time is coming that we will need their help more than we used to. The roles are changing – it’s the way of the world…
So I have come to embrace the calls that we get each day asking how we are doing. And the offers to host family events that are coming up… It hasn’t been easy – Janet and I have been making those decisions for many years. And there are certain things, such as Chicago dog night, or an all night session smoking pulled pork or brisket, that I still like to do here.
And while we know that more changes are eventually coming, we are good with it – well, Janet is better with it than I am… but I am learning. And the family is giving me time to adjust…
But as much as the the kids now want us to “check in” with them, there is a higher power that we check in with daily – God… and He watches over us not only day to day; but moment to moment.
Tonight’s verse is from Matthew. At the end of the Great Commission, when the disciples are sent out into the world, Matthew tells us, at the end of Matthew 28:20, “…And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Do you see that? He is with us “always”…
My encouragement this evening is that we can rest assured that God is watching over us every moment – even if we fail to “check in” with Him. My prayer is that we will all continue to check in with one another, knowing full well that God is also in the room – every moment throughout eternity. Have a great day in the Lord, grace and peace…